Letters to Midna
by Bri24
Summary: Everyday he writes a letter, hoping that his words will be enough to bring her back. Short collection of Link's year without Midna.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Midna,

It's been a week since you left. I just got home for the first time in months. Actually, this is the first time I've been back since you were here last. Do you remember that day?

It was when we were going to get the Master Sword in the Sacred Grove. All of the stress had gotten to me, and I was ready to have a meltdown. You had rolled your eyes and said, "Why don't we go back to your home then? Maybe it'll calm your stupid hormones." I miss when you would tease me like that. I used to always think for days about comebacks that would match up to yours. They were never as good though.

Why did you leave me, Midna? I thought everything was perfect between us. You were my best friend, and now you're gone. How could you just leave me? Everything was finally about to be peaceful again. You could have gone back to the Twilight Realm if you really wanted to, but you didn't have to break the mirror. You must not have realized that I still wanted to be with you, and see you.

Is that why you broke the mirror? Because you thought I didn't want to see you anymore? Or was it because you didn't want to see me? I'm sorry for whatever I did, just please come back. I can't be alone, Midna. The silence is too loud and it's killing me. Kind of like what you did to my heart. Don't worry though, I'm not really mad at you, I'm just mad. And confused. But maybe you already know that. And that makes me wonder if you're thinking about me right now, or if I've even crossed your mind since you broke the mirror. What were you going to say to me before you did it? You just trailed off, then ran away. If my world was perfect, you would have told me you loved me, and we could have been together. You could have stayed in the light world with me, and came back to Ordon. I didn't think I ever wanted to get married to a woman until I met you, Midna. But now it's too late, and I'll spend my life alone.

I have a really funny story, Midna, but you wouldn't think it's funny because all I did was embarrass myself. It took me a long, long time to finally let Zelda take me back to Castle Town. You remember Zelda, right? Well after she got me to Telma's bar, I found a new friend called whiskey. Well, whiskey made me feel so much better, and I thought I could do anything. I can't remember what I did, but Rusl told me I tried to propose to Telma and that I promised a soldier he could have Epona if he would marry us. I can see your face right now Midna, and you're rolling your eyes. I can see that underneath you're laughing at me, and if things would go my way, you look a little jealous and wish that you were the one I was asking to marry.

Things never go my way though, or at least they haven't since you left. I don't know what I'm going to do now that all the evil is gone. I don't want to be a goat herder again, that's nothing compared to what we were doing. I guess a part of me is wishing that Ganondorf would come back so you would too.

If you saw me right now, I think you would be embarrassed. Why, you ask? Well, Midna, I just let all of my masculinity go down the drain. If I could send you this letter, you'd see the ink is smudged and the paper is wrinkled from moisture. That would be because I'm crying, Midna. I can't hold my feelings in any longer. I'm sure Zelda saw right through me when I told her I was fine. She offered to let me stay at the castle to keep an eye on me. Zelda can be really caring when she's worried, but I don't want her to be worrying about me. I'll be just fine.

You see that, Midna? I can be a good liar too. But I can promise this is the truth when I say that I miss you, Midna, more than anything. If you didn't know this already, I love you and I would give anything for you to come back.

Love, Link


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Midna,

Today isn't any better. Actually it's not even daytime, or nighttime. It's twilight. I know that was always your favourite time when you were in the light world, because whenever it came around, you would always smile. Is that why you left me, Midna? Did you miss twilight that much? I would have came with you, you know. All you had to do was ask.

I haven't left my house since I got back. I think people know I'm here, because they keep standing at the bottom of the ladder and calling my name. I don't answer though, because their voices aren't yours, Midna, and that's the only voice I want to hear saying my name. I can hear it right now. Did you know that your voice sounds like you're underwater? It echoes a little, and the pitch changes when you're mood does.

Your voice was different when you were an imp, and when you were in your true form. Both ways though, you sounded so similar to a fairy, or an angel even. Just thinking about it makes me miss you even more. Can you hear me too, Midna? If you're listening, you can hear me saying I love you.

I'm sure if you were here right now, I wouldn't have even bothered to start writing, but it makes me feel more connected to you. Like somehow you know that I'm doing it, and you can read the words that I put on this parchment.

I think I might go crazy, Midna. Everything in my house looks like you. If you look really close, the blanket on my bed has twilight patterns on it. The fire underneath my kettle is the same colour as your hair. It even moves the same way too. All of the items that I collected on our journey are just different reminders of what used to be.

Today I found a black leather bracelet sitting on my table. I know it's yours, Midna, because it has twilight patterns all over it, and they glow the same colour as your skin. And it smells just like you too. Your scent is something that's permanently locked into my brain, probably from being a wolf for so long. It's spicy but still sweet and something I could pick up in a second. There's so much more to it then that, though. It shows your pain and your pride, your worries and passion. Midna, it's one of the things that makes you beautiful.

If you want to know the one thing that makes you the most beautiful woman in the world, I can tell you. Its your devotion, Midna. When I think on every single day we spent together, never once did you say "I give up." You're a thousand times stronger than I ever will be. I wonder, are you holding it together better than I am right now? My head is telling me you are, but my heart is wishing you missed me as much as I miss you.

I know we're two different races, Midna, but you can't tell me you don't have a heart too. Please, just let yourself feel the pain that I do, and maybe then you'll try to come back. Find a way to come back to the light world, and I promise you everything will be okay. Please, Midna, I can't live without you. It's tearing me apart, living without you, and you haven't even been gone for that long yet.

Maybe I'll try to sleep tonight. Dreaming is the closest way I can get to you. I can escape from pain for a few hours at least, and believe that you're in my arms. I know it will hurt more when I wake up, because the truth is like running into a brick wall. But I would suffer that pain for a few believable lies.

Maybe I'll get lucky, and start having lifelike hallucinations. I wish that I could feel numb, just for a little while. This pain is starting to overtake me, and I can't stop myself from letting it. I'm begging you, please, come back to me, Midna.

Love, Link


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Midna,

I haven't looked out the window for a while. I thought I had, but when I looked today, the trees were all different colours. Yellow, orange, and red. Your eyes were every one of those colours, at one point at least. I went outside for the first time since I locked myself inside. There's a lot more in this world that reminds me of you then I thought there was. I've made it to Ordon Spring, and even that feels too far.

The sun is painful instead of being a relief and I'm finding myself wishing that Ordon was covered in twilight. Was the water always the same colour as your skin, or are the goddesses making it seem that way to punish me? It may sound like an insane thought, but maybe I could drown myself in that water. That way I would be dying with you, Midna. If the water is your skin, and your skin is you, then I guess you would be the one killing me. If I'm willing to die though, I would be killing myself. Maybe it would be something we do together.

I picked up three of the leaves to bring back with me. One yellow, one orange and one blood-red. The same colour your eyes were the last time I ever saw you. I wish you could see them, Midna, because you never got to stay for autumn. I'm going to keep this red leaf forever.

I just had an amazing idea, Midna. You might think I'm turning crazy, but I'm going to build you up again. All these things that remind me of you, I'll put together and make them whole. This will be my attempt at recreating you. You will be a piece of art when I'm done. No, that's a lie. You already are a work of pure and innocent art.

Did you know that your lips are beautiful? Nothing on your body is purple, except for those. I can feel your breath right now, it's cool on my skin. The smell of honeysuckle is filling the air, and swirling around me. You're making me light-headed, Midna.

Nothing ever lasts though, and this feeling wasn't real. I open my eyes and realize it's the wind that's tickling my throat, not your breath. It's not really you at all.

Maybe I am going crazy. Actually, I don't even have to say maybe, because I know I'm going crazy. I never appreciated that word, crazy. It sounds so…beautiful yet mysterious. It's the hard pronunciation of _'cr'_ and the way it melts into_ 'z'_. You don't even have to pronounce the _y_ because the _z_ already does it for you. That's sort of like me and you, Midna. You're the _z_, and I'm the _y_. You'll always come first. I don't have to stand strong and alone, because you'll always be there to help me. I could fall right off the end of the word, or world if I'm being literal, and it wouldn't matter. Because you'll always be the backbone, holding everything up if I can't.

I dreamt of you last night, Midna. I know what you're going to say. _"You can actually fall asleep on that rock you call a bed?"_ See that? I can put words into your mouth. I really am meant for you, Midna. This dream though, it scared me. I thought that dreams were supposed to be perfect representations of your deepest desires. Why was this one so terrifying then? I was a wolf, but not the same blue-eyed beast as I was on our journey. This wolf was deadly, and it wanted to kill you. I couldn't stop it, even though I was in its body. You were so scared. You couldn't defend yourself, Midna. I'm sorry I let the beast hurt you. Please don't be mad. I promise I would never try and hurt you.

Can I confess something? I'm scared to look in the mirror, Midna. I'm terrified of what I might find in my eyes. I'm terrified that you might still be in my eyes. I promise I'll look as long as you're there with me. Whenever you're with me, I feel like everything is going to be okay. Please come and be with me. I'm going to tell you everyday until you listen. I love you, Midna.

Love, Link

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><p><strong>Hey there, just adding in my first author's note! Thanks so much for the positive feedback, I really appreciate the reviews! :) Link's slowly (or quickly, whichever way you want to take it) going crazy here. I have an excellent idea for a letter coming up soon and I can't wait to bring it to life! Keep on reading and I'll keep on posting!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Midna,

I was never afraid of the commitment. I think you were though, Midna. You weren't ready to be in love. Maybe you really did love me all this time, but got scared and breaking the mirror was your only way out. You didn't have to be scared. I could have taken care of you. I would make sure everything was perfect for you. I just want you to be happy, Midna, why can't you see that? Do you want me to be happy too? Or would you rather I quit pitying my own life and just ended it instead?

Things can't really be that much better over there, Midna. There's no seasons. The air doesn't have a smell. The sun never comes out. Everything is always stuck in perpetual twilight. I know that's what your used to, but things would be more interesting over here in the light world. If twilight is what you want though, I'll find a way to make it there. Maybe that's what I'll do today. I will pack everything up and find a way to the Twilight Realm. Is that what you were waiting for, Midna? I'll make the effort then, and find my way back to you.

I started to recreate you today, Midna. I'm being productive. Are you proud of me? The blood leaves that I found from the trees are being used for your eyes. I made them perfect, and they look just like yours. When I looked outside again, there were so many more orange leaves. I gathered them all, and now they are your hair, windblown and perfect. I can't find anything that would represent your skin. It's so unique, and the spring water is all that closely resembles it. Every piece of art takes time, and you will be nothing less than perfect when I'm done.

My shield is still in the corner of the room, mud and grass stains all over it. I know the Master Sword was supposed to be returned to the Sacred Grove, but I couldn't do it. It's another thing that's a memory of our journey. I never noticed the sharp edge of the blade before. It's so mesmerizing and the shine is captivating me. Never once did I consider if all the monsters I killed felt any pain. I wonder what it would feel like, stabbing yourself through the heart. It can't be much worse than I feel now. I can go to heaven and be happy, Midna. Angels are always happy in heaven. All it would take is one plunge, and then I would feel better. I find my hand stretching towards the sword, and it's nearly impossible to stop. But I do. There's little hope I have left, but I won't give up yet, Midna. I'm coming back for you.

Even though I'm living for you, I'm almost ready for death. There are so many ways to end the suffering that I had never considered before. Should I jump of the Bridge of Eldin? I could just jump from the City in the Sky instead. Maybe I'll waste away in the North, and let the cold temperatures freeze me. I've never had so many options in my life, Midna.

This weird thing keeps happening to me. My body convulses when I least expect it. I won't be doing anything at all, but my nerves will. I think that's called twitching, Midna. Isn't it a sign when you're going crazy? There's that word again, crazy. It keeps popping up in my head like clockwork.

You still haven't written back, Midna. Why haven't you written back? Do you write letters and not send them? I keep mine in a wooden box. Everyday I'll look at them, to see if the mailman has taken them. To see if he'll deliver them to you. I don't think the mailman has been around, though, because all my letters are still here. That must be the reason why you aren't writing back. Well, I'll be there soon, I promise. You can read every single word that I've ever written to you.

As I will say every time until you understand; my love for you goes on forever, and it always will. I still love you, Midna.

Love, Link.


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Midna,

It took me two days to get to Arbiter's Grounds and home again. Those two days were wasted, Midna. There was nothing left, nothing at all. Everything was the same as when you left, but there was no broken glass anymore. I called the Seven Sages to see if they could bring it back, but they didn't answer me. I'm thinking that there's no point for life anymore, Midna. I'm just wasting away here without you.

I never got to fully recreate you, but that's okay but I'll be with you soon enough. I can't wait to feel your soft skin and run my hands through your beautiful hair. I will give up my life to feel you again and hear your voice speaking to me.

I can't do it any longer. I can't pretend that I'm okay when I just want it all to be over. I'm aching with sadness and burning with pain. You never wanted me, did you? Was I just your tool to fix everything and get your kingdom back? Why did you use me, Midna? I thought you really did love me. Maybe I shouldn't have trusted you, then I wouldn't be hurting this bad. You lied to me, now I'm the one who gets to suffer from it. I really hope your kingdom is worth spending your life without someone who will always love you more than his own life. I hope you're already there, Midna, in heaven. Not because I wanted you to be dead, but because then we can finally be together again. I can finally escape. I'm doing it, Midna. I'm doing this for you.

I thought I would be shaking more, but I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I lied again. Being in love with you was the one thing that I was always one hundred percent positive about. Please don't think that I'm doing this to hurt you, Midna. I'm doing this so we can be together.

My descent into craziness was short and bittersweet, Midna. I spiralled downwards into hell in a matter of weeks. I didn't know I was this weak. I'm sorry, Midna, I wish I could have been stronger for you. This is all my fault. I could have done so much more to make you stay, but my weakness got in the way of that. I'm so sorry for hurting you in any way, Midna. I love you so much.

The Master Sword is right where I left it and I'm going to use it for the first time since I killed Ganondorf. I'm still wearing the Hero's Tunic and it's spattered with mud and all kinds of monster blood. I bet my blood won't make it look any worse. Here I go, Midna, everything will be better soon, I promise.

It hurts, Midna, please make the hurting stop. My heart is working harder then it ever has before. I didn't realize the physical pain that came with my actions. I don't regret them though. There's red everywhere. All that red is the same colour as your eyes. Someone's crying and I can hear screaming. For a moment, I feel scared but then your face becomes clear, and I feel something I haven't in a long time: happiness. I don't think they can see that you're here, Midna, that an angels here, or they wouldn't be upset. I don't know who's crying though, because my vision is spotted with bright colours. You're waving at me, Midna. I would wave, but my body is numb. I can see that soft smile on your purple lips, but you have tears in your eyes, Midna. Why are you crying? We're together now, you should be happy. I can see your lips are moving, but there's no sound coming out. Talk to me, Midna, please. I've been waiting too long to hear your voice again.

You're walking away now. Do you want me to follow? You're disappearing so fast into the white light and I'm running after you. The light makes me feel so warm and calm. It's getting brighter, and the only thing I can feel is a smile on my face. I'll see you soon, Midna.

Love, Link

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><p><strong>BEFORE YOU VIRTUALLY STRANGLE ME, DO NOT FEAR. Letters to Midna is not over yet :) I might even make it into a short story, who knows? Anyways, I just want to thank everyone again for the awesome reviews. It always makes my day coming on here and reading what you guys have to say. So, yeah, keep reading and reviewing and I'll keep on writing!<strong>

**-Bri24**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: I can't even apologize for how long it has taken me to update. My life has been so insanely hectic that I have had no time to write at all. I've recently went through a bad experience though and I hope that I've done a good job transferring pain into words. So please, read and review, it's greatly appreciated! -Bri24**

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><p>Dear Link,<p>

For every day that passes, it causes my heart to grow weaker and I'm almost dead. I want to be with you more than anything in the world right now, but I can't. I sealed myself away from your love forever. I'm stuck. I thought that returning to the Twilight Realm would be the best for the both of us, but I was wrong. I thought that you could be happy again and live a normal life. I wanted you to find someone who could love you in every way because that's what you deserve, Link. You deserve to be happy every single moment of your life and not have to worry about saving the world. You saved me though. If I hadn't found you, I would be dead and sent to live in hell. I know I'm still going to hell after what I've done. I don't know how to be happy again, Link. I am living with so much guilt that I can't even look myself in the eye and say, "Everything is going to be okay, Midna." Nothing's ever going to be okay.

I may be back in the Twilight Realm, but it feels nothing like home anymore. My home is with you, Link. Look at how much I want you know that I can't have you. I guess that karma has come back to bite me. It's doing more than biting me, it's deteriorating my heart. Slowly, but surely, karma is murdering me cold blood. Day by day, I am being weakened by the thought of you and what could have been.

I was always a tough woman, Link. I could surround myself with walls to protect my heart from the world. Every meteor that life threw at me was just a test to see if those walls were still secure. It's just like that fairytale about the three little pigs. At first, my walls were built of straw and Zant huffed, and he puffed, and he blew the walls down. My kingdom was ripped out from my weak hands. That helped me build my walls out of sticks, but my heart huffed, and it puffed, and it blew those walls down too. I demanded myself to stop seeing you as a human being with arms and legs and a heart. I told myself you were just a pawn in an impossible game of chess.

The third walls were built of bricks and I told myself that they would stay secure forever. It had worked; but only for a short period of time. I refused to look into your determined, blue eyes and let myself see anything but a beast in them. But that day that we had gone home to Ordon, I watched you sleep for hours. I studied every inch of your face and searched for imperfections that I could not find. You opened your eyes, and it was too late. I couldn't look away. You have beautiful eyes, Link. I wish I could see them just one more time. I wish I could know that my mind isn't trying to murder me. I wish that I didn't have to wish for these things.

My brick walls were tested, and somehow, I managed to keep them from being completely demolished by you. My last effort of trying to keep them up was by shattering the Mirror of Twilight and leaving the world forever. It had the complete opposite effect that I was hoping for. As I watched you while I broke the mirror, you huffed, and you puffed and you blew those brick walls down with no effort at all. Fairytales are supposed to have a happy ending, but this one doesn't. All I am is a fragile mess with no protection from any of life's cruel factors.

I'm broken. There's no more energy or supplies left for me to build another set of walls. My heart is bruised and my brain has suffered a senseless beating. The amount of pain that you've put me through, and I have put you through is unheard of. The worst part is that there is absolutely nothing I can do to fix our broken relationship. We are damaged beyond repair. The only thing that keeps me holding on is the thought of your blue eyes and the beast inside of them.

Now that my walls are gone, there's no point in keeping this a secret anymore. I love you, Link. I always have, and I always will.

Love, Midna


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Hello there , lovely readers. I owe you all an apology for not updating, but school, work, and life have just been so busy. But summer is coming up soon which means I will probably be updating frequently! Thank you all for your patience! Hope you like this letter. Please, read and review for me! :)**

**-Bri24**

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><p>Dear Link,<p>

Let's talk about pain. Pain is defined as 1. Physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness, etc. 2. A distressing sensation in a particular part of the body or 3. Mental or emotional suffering or torment.

_Turn down the lights._

But the thing is, the common definition only includes physical pain. Physical pain can be easily treated with medicines and herbs. But when pain is defined, they don't go into details about mental illness and a broken heart, even though it easily hurts you more than any other type of pain.

_Turn down the bed._

The part that makes it so terrible, is that it affects every single aspect of your being. You can feel the blood pumping through your veins, but it doesn't feel natural. Because your brain is telling your body to shut down, and quit. It's impulse though; your body has one job and it's to keep blood flowing to your heart. But the brain is what makes everything complicated. It over-analyzes things and turns pure and honest thoughts into dirt. I've learned that the monsters don't live under your bed, they live inside your head.

_Turn down these voices inside my head._

I'm scared, because I keep hearing your voice and seeing hallucinations of you. I feel like a schizophrenic.

_Lay down with me._

From what I've learned by being introduced to your world, Link, is that things are better in the daytime, and the sunlight gives you a sense of hope. It makes you feel like everything will be okay. The Twilight Realm isn't like that though. I reside in a kingdom of depressing dusk. I wake up, and I sit in the windowsill of my bedroom. Day in. Day out. You must think that it sounds exactly like something a princess would do. Well, I don't feel like much of a princess anymore. I lost my prince, lost him to a mirror.

_Tell me no lies._

There's knocks at my door every so often. Food pushed through the opening like I'm some sort of prisoner. Well, truth be told, I am. Because I did it to myself. I imprisoned myself in my own kingdom. Not only that, I'm a prisoner in my own mind, constantly tortured by thoughts of you, Link.

_Just hold me close and don't patronize me._

And I'm embarrassed. Not because I love you so dearly, but because I'm so hopeless without you. It's terrible that you can just walk into my life and not even realize how much it affected me. I made you my everything, and now it means nothing. I wore my heart on my sleeve, when I should've just kept it in my chest where it functions best.

_I can't make you love me if you don't._

I can only tell you that I love you so many times, Link. I can't bring you back. I'll never know if you cared about me. I still can't blame you for that though. Our time together was like an hourglass, so short and bittersweet. When every breath is a ticking time bomb, you have to cherish every moment, and that's where I went wrong. I took you for granted, Link and I'm so sorry.

_You can't make your heart feel something it won't._

I just wish there was a way to reach you. I've lost all my hope, all my motivation, to even find a way to try and reach you. All I can do is put these letters in a box under my bed, and pretend that I've sent them to you. If you received every one of my letters, things would of changed, I'm sure of it. You would have learned that I'm not as strong as you thought I was. No, you would learn that I'm no braver than a cowardly lion.

_Here in the dark in these final hours, I will lay down my heart, If I feel the power, but you don't._

The nightmares torture me, too. My mind taunts me with images of you, in the arms of other women. Dead on the ground, drained of blood. Laughing, smiling, so content without me. I wake up crying, every single time. Tears stain the pillow, and my throat is raw from screaming.

_I'll close my eyes, then I won't see the love you don't feel when you're holding me._

The most disturbing nightmare I've had came only a few nights ago. I'm in your house, and everything is exactly how I remembered it to be. Even the scent is the same, Ordon forest mixed with humid spices. I see you, Link, your clear blue eyes twisted in pain. Your green tunic is still dirty, stained with mud and blood, but that's not what I'm paying attention to. No, all I can focus on is the sword that you clench tightly with two hands, aimed for your stomach. Before I can stop you, you plunge that sword into your abdomen without a second thought or a regretful expression on your sweet face.

_Morning will come and I'll do what's right._

I can sense another presence that entered the room, but I can't take my eyes off of you. I open my mouth to scream, but no sound comes out. You're clutching your stomach, and tears are pouring down your cheeks. All I see is red, your blood gushing out, cascading all over the clean floor. Your breath is catching in your throat, and it sounds like you're choking. Your eyes start to roll into the back of your head as you drop to your knees. Even though you're suffering, I can't look away. I don't know how you did it Link, but you looked up at me, your ocean eyes piercing straight into my fire eyes.

_Just give me till then to give up this fight._

I wasn't expecting what happens next. You smile. Only softly, but it's a smile. I sense my arm lift up, and give you a wave. A sad smile tugs at my lips and I can feel my eyes welling up with tears. "I'm sorry, Link. This is all my fault." I whisper, feeling the tears spill down my face, "I'm sorry that I did this to you. I love you. I'll always love you." I can't watch anymore, and I run away as fast as I can, into a bright light that welcomes me.

My screams woke me up, and I was clutching to my pillow as if it was my only lifeline. But it was only a dream, right?

Despite all these nightmares, I love you still.

Love, Midna

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><p><strong>AN: Some of you may have recognized the song that I incorporated into this chapter. It's called "I Can't Make You Love Me" originally by Bonnie Raitt, but Bon Iver does a wonderful cover. That song was my inspiration for this letter. Again, please read and REVIEW for me! :) Until next time!**


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